Mistakes--I make a lot of them.  My kids do too.  Mistakes are part of being a family.  The learning we do within our homes is full of trial and error.  How would I have ever learned the difference between between powdered sugar and flour if I hadn't accidentally made a loaf of banana a bread using all powdered sugar!?  
I only made that mistake once!

Mistakes are an inevitable part of our journey, so why not befriend them?  If we choose to, each mistake we make, gives us the chance to practice becoming more of the person we want to be.  
Mistakes are gifts of learning in disguise.

Rather than getting stuck in frustration, anger, and guilt try something different this week.  Choose to learn from your mistake and try again.  Try again from a new perspective, a more confident stance, or place of forgiveness.  And when you mess up again, just get up and try it once more.  
Failure only occurs when we quit trying.

No one in your house needs you to be perfect so STOP IT!  
Be kind to yourself and press forward in your imperfections.

I was so touched.  It wasn’t thank you for driving me to school, fixing my dinner, doing my hair, playing games with me, helping me with homework, helping me clean my room, or any of the other things I do for her.

It wasn’t thank you for being nice, kind, funny, helpful, caring, loving, sweet, or any of the fantastic adjectives she could have used to describe me.  It was simple.  It was pure.  

In that moment I felt complete.  I was enough—imperfections and all.

Then I began to consider.  Do I thank my children for being who they are?  NOT for what they do or how they act, but just for being them? 

Expressing unconditional love is one of the greatest gifts we can give.  It says, “I love you in this moment just as you are—messes and all.”

So what does that look like?  You’ll have to tweak them to match your personality, but here are some ideas:

Sitting here next to you, I am reminded how much I love you.           

I miss you when we’re apart.

I’m glad you’re mine. 

Seeing you walk through the door, brightens my day.  

I wouldn’t want anyone but you.

Thank you for being my child.

And my personal favorite,

“Thank you for being you.”

With busy schedules, mounting societal pressures to perform, and an abundance of distractions, parenting can be a tough job.  Everyone, experienced or not, has an opinion on how children should be raised and quickly offer solutions.  We can easily become overwhelmed and lose confidence as we drown in a swirling pool of voices and expectations.  When this happens, we fail to nurture the greatest gift we have been given as parents; our heart.

One Friday morning, I found myself at the best garage sale ever.  Imagine, a 6-foot long table covered in assembled Lego sets for only $40!   As mother to one avid Lego builder, I bought the entire collection.  Christmas was approaching and I could imagine the excitement for this little guy!  Then, as I turned to leave, I saw a bookshelf and boxes full of books.  Not just random books but early teen adventure series; a sweet spot!

 My twelve-year-old, is a voracious reader and loves books just as much as I do.  In years past, our relationship has struggled.   During times when we couldn’t talk nicely to each other, books created a common ground and opened up a safe form of communication.   I would read what he was reading just so we could have something to talk about.   It was a sweet connection point and as I stood there, I kept wishing I had his input on which books should join our collection.

 As I headed home, I had the thought to go get him from school and take him to the garage sale.  I brushed it off, called it unnecessary, and laughed at the pile of 30 books I had already purchased.  He is at school, after all, and we have plenty of reading material.  I hid the books for Christmas and moved forward with the day, but the thought came again even clearer.  Who pulls their child out of school for a garage sale!?  Despite my efforts to dismiss the idea, it persisted.

Finally, I threw up my hands and followed my heart.  When I picked him up from school, he looked at me like I’d lost my mind and questioned, “You picked me up for a garage sale!?”  By now, my excitement was bubbling over and it didn’t take long for him to join in.  In no time we were both full of excitement as we sorted through the remaining books.   Finally, as we walked to the car he declared, “We just bought 25 books for $16.  That’s as much as one hardback book, Mom!  Best garage sale ever!”

I allowed myself to be in the moment with an open heart, free of judgment, and it was fabulous!  I feel such energy as I think about the joy we shared that day and the future connection these books and this experience will bring.

Parenting is a multi-faceted adventure.  Routine, structure, limits, boundaries, and natural consequences all play an important role in the healthy development of children.  Countless books and programs have been written to guide parents in these areas.  It is my belief, that equally important is the need to nurture and parent with heart. It is our powerful guide in this parenting journey.   My invitation is to allow yourself to listen to and trust your heart.

I don’t know of a parenting book or program that would suggest taking a child out of school to go to a garage sale; nor am I suggesting that.  It simply worked in this situation.  Each family and parent-child relationship is unique.  It could have been gifting a book after school, sharing a treat and talking about the next book on the list, or simply creating a few moments to relish in the strengths of this child.  Quite simply, there is not always a perfect set of steps to follow.  When we allow the heart to guide as we teach and love our children, we invite a quiet sense of calm and confidence.   It is that sense of confidence I invite you to claim.

It’s Mother’s Day week so let’s celebrate the hard work we do each day.  Here’s a big shout out to all women who give so much.

First, a couple of videos to share.  I share these with my family as a subtle reminder of how awesome I am and how they get to take care of me this Sunday.  Ok, I’m not very subtle about it.  We have mostly boys so I don’t wait for the magic to happen.  Ask for what you need and deserve by letting them know this matters to you.  If it doesn’t, well lucky them and hopefully they’ll surprise you.   Every mom in all of her imperfections deserves to be honored and showered with love. 

Now, if the above statement is true, how do we shower ourselves with love?  It’s May and that means it’s crazy busy and summer is almost here.  I love summer—absolutely love it!  And while I love it, being a mom during the summer brings a whole new level of juggling. 

So my question is, “How to you shower yourself with love?”  We want everyone else to do it on Mother’s Day, but what about you?  Do you regularly engage in activities that fill your soul?

For us to be able to answer the endless calls of  “Mom!!” we need to give ourselves a little TLC before summer hits.  Julia Cameron states, “Attention is an act of connection.”  When we give ourselves a little attention and take time to recharge, we prepare ourselves to connect more fully with our family and ourselves.

Let’s do an exercise.  (Adapted from the Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron)

1.       Grab a pencil and make a list of 20 things you love to do.  Making cookies, reading 
poetry, roller skating, rock climbing, shooting baskets, taking a nap in the grass, anything you love.  
Can you do it?  20 things!  No wrong answers are even possible so go for it!

2.       Now, look at your list.  Go back and write a date indicating the last time you 
enjoyed that activity.  It’s ok if it’s been a while.

3.       Finally, pick 2 of those activities and set 2 small goals that move you towards your joy.
These can be small.  They are meant to be steps that create time for you 
and your needs in this busy life of demands.

Twenty items did not come easily for me.  I had to let it sit and come back to it.  Then, I was surprised to see how long it had been since I had enjoyed several of the items listed.  The difficulty of the task was a clear indicator that my spirit needed some attention.

Start small.  Keep it simple.  This is not a competition but an invitation.  Love yourself a little.  You are so worth it!

One item on my list was to spend time outdoors.  The two goals for the week were:  1.  Sit on the back patio at the end of the day.  2.  Eat dinner outside one time.  

Small and simple. 

Your spirit longs for connection and is asking for attention.  Use this month of May to fill your soul and practice some self care 2-3 times per week.  Look for small increments of time and utilize those.  It doesn’t take much.  Write a sticky note as a reminder, “Self-care is not selfish!  I am giving my soul attention so I can create connection.” 

Share what fills your soul and supports your mental and emotional health this month of May in the comments below or come visit us on Facebook!